a very happy birthday to her

A very happy birthday to my sister....u are a grown up sister......

When she says she is okay now,will people believe it?

I told her that I am finally okay with the past but she said I am not and I felt like I got a reality slap on my face. Finally I admitted to myself that I am not totally okay but I am letting go of the past slowly...I am not that sad as before but I am still sad when the memories play in my brain like a movie. Kept on playing until I can feel like its my favourite movie.... I wish for a lot of things but I know in order for the wishes to be granted, I need to turn back time...

a short letter for her..

Hey you,

Please remember that I will always be around every single time you need me. It is okay to cry and it is okay to be vulnerable for once a while....I will not tell this in front of you as our relationship is not like that. We are not those people who show love and affection in front of each other. You may think that you are still the old person but NO, You had changed. You had changed to a stronger and matured person. You had changed into a person who takes time to think about the consequences.I am so proud of you.

Take as much time as u want to heal the wound. I will always be around to give you all the love and supports.

enough said,

i l o v e u

Penang again

*****second chapter from the previous entry*****

After the Hoh's puke chaos, we went to watch THIS IS IT *movie/documentary about late MJ*. The movie was a nice movie, too bad MJ died before the concert because all the preparation for the concert were superb!I bet all the fan were looking forward to that concert as most of the tickets were SOLD OUT and you would not wanna miss the concert but what to do, we cannot awake the dead....

Right after the movie, we went to Line Clear Nasi Kandar. As usual the place was packed with people. The best part was that after that puke incident, Hoh *bloody hell!* still wanna whacked the Nasi Kandar!

Look at the crowd in front of us! I don't know what so special about this Nasi Kandar!=.=!

We warned him to eat moderately, if not he has to walk back to the hotel. Paranoid wey, what if he puke again????but luckily he didn't puke on the way back to hotel. We didn't straight away go back to the hotel but we made few pit stops! The first pit stop was at the coconut stall. According to one of our friend who is local*Vincent*, he said the coconut taste superb! I tasted it, like normal coconut juice only....*phffft!!!*( I am not a coconut juice so who am I to comment about the taste right?) BUT I was amazed by that dude who cut the coconut. Super skilled!!!ZAS!ZAS!ZAS!wahhhhhh!!

Second pit stop was at the char kueh tiaw stall. A trip to Penang without eating char kueh tiaw will not be satisfying without a char kueh tiaw right? We waited for nearly an hour just for that char kueh tiaw.....Joseph kept on saying his Encik Taik wanna come out but we can't do anything as we had to wait for our order right so to Joseph's Encik Taik, you cannot come out! The last pit stop before we went back to the hotel was 7-11. According to them, in order to enjoy char kueh tiaw, you HAVE TO HAVE IT WITH BEERS!*what kind of nonsense is that?????*

Since the trip to Penang was without any itinerary, we ate the char kueh tiaw at Joe&Shun Yau's room while watching National Geographic *Surprisingly, I SELDOM watch this channel when I'm home* National Geographic was showing quite an interesting. It was about human organ sales in the black market! Learned few facts about human body...*felt the clever level increased a bit. hehe!*

Before we went for dinner, we went to the Car wash place since Des's car was contaminated*exaggeration mode* with Hoh's puke. While waiting for Des's car to be ready, we had drink at this one place called whatitsname! and Hoh belanja us. We were supposed to go to spa but it took quite some time at whatitsname! and by the time we reach hotel, we had to be ready to go for dinner.*sigh*

I looked so tanned in this picture! We were waiting for the car to be washed right before we went to whatitsname!

The dinner was great! We had crabs, prawns, fresh oysters, and the list goes on.....We went to the night market and Dd sprained her ankle. She was so busy looking at the purse until didn't realise the pavement was uneven!*tu ah!sebok tengok barang,tak tengok jalan!kan dah terjatuh!ahahahahahaha* We went back to the hotel after that and continue drinking at Joe&Shun Yau's room. This time we played cards and whoever lose, needs to drink. Luckily popo spirit was around me, I was lucky that night!*like I drink la kan.....*

Before we slept that night, Dd *with the high spirited talk* suggested we go to the beach since the next day was our last day there, me, Des and Hoh were just nod our head. I thought it was only a joke BUT NO! Des called around 7something *freaking* AM to wake us up for the morning beach walk! I woke Dd up but when she started talking alien language, I went down with Des alone. While he busy taking the scenery pictures, I walked along the beach. It was very relaxing and soothing feeling... I wish I can do that every single morning....aaaaaaaaaaaaa.....

Went back hotel room somewhere around 8something AM and continue sleeping zZzzzZZZzzz until 9something they woke us up again *this time Joe* for breakfast. Ate breakfast and after that all of us started packing up to check out. We went to Prangin Mall as the boys wanted to buy DVDs and after that we headed back to Ipoh. We tried the si konon famous iced coffee in Ipoh and all I can say, its not the coffee that I liked! too much milk!*nausea!*

the si konon Famous Iced Coffee!

Since we still got money left, we went to force ourselves eat hor fun at the famous chicken rice shop in Ipoh. Most of us forced ourselves to swallow the food and as for me, I wanted to cry cos I was so damn full! After the chicken rice, we still got money left! Divided among us and we bought ourselves the Ipoh biscuits. All of us ignored Kenny's suggestion to buy 2 whole SALTED CHICKENS!!!eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

At the chicken rice shop!look at the plate of taugeh!!bagi kambing makan, kambing tue gemok wey!!!!

That's all folks about Penang trip.

Total damages (petrol+toll+Parking+foods+liquors+hotel rooms) = RM 3500
Fun that we had = PRICELESS!

Penang

After all the obstacles about the company trip, all of us FINALLY reached to a decision! We are going to Penang for the company trip and spend all the money that had been budgeted for the company trip! Kenny had booked Flamingo By the Beach as our hotel and surprisingly that hotel is very nice. Didn't take any picture of the room but all I can say is that the hotel located in Tanjong Bungah is one of the nice hotel to stay and the price is quite affordable. Everyone was satisfied with the choice of hotel.

We supposed to start our journey at 6 AM but thanks to Shun Yau, we were behind the schedule. I had bet with everyone, whoever late is gonna pay for the breakfast but then do not have the heart to ask Shun Yau to pay for everything since the people at the shop kept on putting that freaking dim sums on the table of ours!!

Look at the table!!Some of it the waitress cleaned it up already.*sigh*this was only breakfast…

Scaryyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!

After the breakfast, while waiting for Kenny and Joe packed their stuffs at the hotel, me, Des, Hoh and Dd went to have our first coffee of the day since the dim sum shop does not serve anything else besides tea! That was the first shop in my life which does not serve coffee! We had our coffee at Starbucks at some weird shopping complex somewhere in Ipoh. Why the hell I said it is weird? It because the freaking parking was so hard to access!! We had to go ALL THE WAY UP just to park! Felt like driving up Sungei Wang's parking lot*by the way, I was not the one who drove that day.hehe* But the Starbucks there was very NICE! Des mentioned that he wanted his Grande (medium in normal restaurant) latte in Venti size cup, I went pandai-pandai told the barista that he wanted that and TADAAAAAA! he got his grande size latte in a venti cup! Save money!!!

Continued the journey to Penang, I was damn sleepy but cannot sleep since I was sitting at the co-pilot seat while all of them at the back started to snore….. Thanks to Dd and Hoh for torturing me. T.T

The "BEST" part of the trip was, they had forced me to go to the island by ferry.*&(&%*(* I was so scared until my toes and fingers changed into blue colors! Not funny!) Even before I got into the ferry, made a phone call to her, asking her to wish me all the best and hope that I survived on that freaking scary ferry ride! The pictures I am about to show u, u must interpret that I was having fun but the TRUTH is- IT IS NOT FUN AT ALL!!!!

This was when the ferry starts moving! I was hanging on Kenny so hard

I tried to hide from des's camera lens but unfortunately failed!

This was when I had to follow Kenny to the edge of the ferry! Not funny at all!!

We reached Penang, we got to hang out in the hotel room for a while only until Kenny started to bug us to go eat since he damn hungry. He kept on telling us he wants us to go to this one bar at Batu Feringghi and chill by the beach side. We drag our tired asses and followed him to that place. Reached there, we changed place like a million times konon-konon nya wanna find the MOST suitable place for all of us. We ended up at the 90 degrees chairs. It was super uncomfortable wey!! No joke! After eating our lunch+dinner, we cannot take it anymore with the 90 degrees chair *I was super irritated until feels like punching people!* We hang out at Sunset Bar until 10-ish PM.

The chair was so straight! I hate that chair!! We were at Sunset Bar at this time. At this point, everyone was still sober.

This was when we moved to the table by the beach. Hoh met his bitch there. The dog seems in love with him…*ya la, he kept on feeding the dog wey*

Hoh was already drunk at this moment (according to him, he was 65% drunk..phffft!whatever!) We were playing truth&truth game until Kenny realized that this old drunkard *hoh* was recording our conversation! (&(%*& Kenny tried to grab hoh's phone and I was in the middle of the fight. Thanks to both of u!

Hoh was so drunk that night. We asked him his dad's name, and guess what his answer- NOT TELLING *while giggling* He kept on slapping people inside the car when we drove down from Batu Feringghi and the only person he listened that night was ME*aaaaaaaaa* u know why? Cos I threaten him, if he doesn't stop hitting people inside the car, I am so gonna hold his salary for next month! Gosh! He acted like a 5 years old kid. It was so funny and at the same time irritating! All of us who went for that trip knew who he admires…..*jeng jeng jeng*

The next day after breakfast, Kenny suggested all of us go watch "this is it" movie and all of us said okay! On the way to Queensbay Mall,

Hoh: des, drive carefully la. I feel like puking.

Des: Not my fault la. Kenny la.

All of a sudden, we heard Hoh winded down the window and a splash of thingy flying to the back car window. All of us *me, Des&Dd* were shocked. We stopped the car by the road side to let Hoh puke……….=.=! Hoh body reaction was super slow, we stopped drinking at 10 something the night before and he puked in the AFTERNOON the next day…do the maths guys. The funniest part was that, his face full of his own puke, he didn't bother as he took the tissue that I passed it to him and started to wipe the car.*faint* Dd kept on yelling at Hoh asked him to wipe his face and we were like "LEAVE THE F*CKING CAR ALONE!U WIPE YOUR FACE!"

Hoh's puke!!!! He himself didn't wanna touch his own puke. Asked Des to open the door from inside….T.T

To be continued……

some things are better left forgotten...

I have lost count on the number of days for this self-made therapy. During the weekend I went to Penang for the 8dge farewell trip or company trip. From now on, there will be no more 8dge except for its accounts that is currently handled by me. I had so much fun in Penang with them but I know it would be more fun if I go with my friends. Do not get me wrong as I am not saying they(8dge team) are not my friends but they had not existed yet when all those sweet and sad memories happened. It made me forgot about him for a moment as I do not allow myself thinking about him. As I am in KL again, I kept on holding on Agnes's words which "some things are better left forgotten"

Somehow what my lil sis said is true cos in order to be fine, let go of those memories and move on....

so currently still fighting over emotions.

p/s: will post the pictures at Penang in next post.

Her second day of therapy

Today is my second day of therapy...so far I am feeling okay, not fine but okay...if we go by percentage, i had let go 10% of him from myself. Hopefully, by the end of this therapy, I can let go 100%...

Ms stubborn is still around but she loosing up a bit now...