feeling unworthy and unappreciated

Feeling really sad. Gonna wait until Monday to look at how the matter gonna end.

sad mode

My First Time

Its my first time to reach office at 8am today because I need to leave at 6pm today. Today is Dayah's wedding reception dinner. Has not think about what to wear tonight. Might be going with jeans and t-shirt kot since damn freaking sleepy right now.*sigh* I wish My eye balls can be taken out from the socket and I wanna soak it in the water to refresh it!!*tolong wey,mengantok giler babi nie!nak rendam biji mate nie dalam air weyy!*

Put is coming to my office later to pick up the cupcakes that we*agnes and me* did last night until 2am.*actually 130am but stuck watching koffee with karan because one of the guest was freaking bimbo.thought she was in beauty pageant show or what?!answered like she was in the beauty pageant show*

I am all super comot*messy* today because when I saw myself in front of the mirror in the office toilet just now, just realised that my t-shirt got colour stain!!!Must be from DP purple t-shirt!adehhhh!

*didn't bring phone when I went down to toilet.If not can take pic of that stain.Hopefully later at home still remember to take pic of it and post it here to show you that how super comot am I currently!

Don't know whether I can drive all the way to Mantin for the reception or not.....*ngantok tahap nak bute dah nie wey!*

SERIOUSLY I WANNA TAKE OUT MY EYE BALLS AND SOAK IT IN THE WATER!!

She is no longer a Miss tomorrow

Tomorrow, one of my dear friend Ms Dayah will be getting married to the love of her life at Mantin. I have known her since my MMU life in Malacca. Still remember at that time she was always in Agnes's house and in front of the TV until she got a nickname-Barang perhiasan(decoration). It was funny and sad at the same time cos after she graduate, every time when I went to Agnes's house I can't see the "decoration".

As time flies by, now all of us had graduated and leading our own life. She is now someone's fiancee and soon-to-be wife to Yoyo. When at first she break the news that she has a boyfriend, there were mixed emotion in me. not angry or ridicilious emotions but happy+excited+shocked feelings! Happy because she found the Mr Right for herself, excited because her dream had come true as according to her, that time she wanna find a boyfriend that can be her husband and shocked cos within 3 months of dating, she's getting engaged with Yoyo *they started as friends before they jumped into romantic relationship*

I am so happy and glad for her since she had found her own Mr Right.When is my turn ek?ahaha!


Me and Agnes had made cupcakes for her as she ordered from us. If you wanna have a look at the cupcakes, please click here!

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Just update myself with the order from Hidayah, she needs more cupcakes from me as Agnes won't be around tonight so here is my prayer to GOD:

Dear God,
Can I wish for 48 hours and 4 extra hands?
and,and,and
a bigger oven and mixer?
pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

yours truly,

Audrey

For the brokenhearted

It's only for someone who need someone to wrapped around, who need an open arms to share, maybe this could be make to get being better.

When... it's the person u feel the most comfortable w/ in the world, and to know that u've.. u share that special bond w/ one other person that's the best feeling in the world.. but when u lose that feeling.. when u lose the only thing that ever mattered to u.. it seems like life has no purpose, no point at all..

U feel like u could just curl up and die.. that nothing or no one else matters to u.. and the only thing that u've ever wanted is now gone and u'll do anything to get him/her back, coz he's worth it.. u'll try and try until one day u realize.. that things will never be the same again. Ur love is still there, deep inside of u.. so u try ur best to just be friends, and it works for a while.. but the feelings are still there.. and no matter how hard u try friend will never be good enough..

So u want to forget about him/her, but that's even harder.. there's too many memories, to many good times to just forget.. and no matter what u do, he's/she's always there.. everywhere u look, everything u do, every place u go, every song u hear, everyone u see.. reminds you of him/her.. and u hope some day u'll be back together but until then there's nothing u can do..

But sit and cry, to go through that pain when he/she talks about another woman/man he/she likes, or how good his/her life is going.

And that pain breaks ur heart day after day, tear after tear, until u've no more tears to cry, until u just get used to that hole in ur heart that won't go away, that pain that never leaves u, that lonely feeling that stays with u forever, and u may have other guys, but nothing or no one could ever compare, and u know that.

Now here.. that what many people said about love.. love is perfect, love is kind.. isn't it? or It isn't just a peace of mind, maybe Love is something u need to give, it is something u need to live, everyone think, love is also very unique, love is great, love is loyal, but It isn't something rotten or spoiled, for what u got, love can be love, love can be liked, to love as in use, it isn't right, love can be friendship, inside down of partnership, in a relationship of love, u give ur advice, many kind of people said, love can be happy, love can be sad, but that doesn't mean to love is bad, to love someone can be such great pleasure, it what makes u and him one hell of a treasure, sometimes love of course has its ups and downs, but, that doesn't mean that it's not around, love or to be loved is what u want.. it's came over from inside my heart, not just to show of mine, or try to manipulated my words to get someone hearts.. die on me.. here, just trying to help some friend of mine..
coz i care it's only words.. maybe another people could make this better... that's what i can do for my friend.. still many concern.. from here some people around u...

*taken from this blog.
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As for my "Mission Impossible", I failed again today....T___T

Mission Impossible!

At 645am this morning, my alarm went off as I planned to reach office before 8am. I wanna train myself to go to work at 8am so that on Friday I can leave office around 6pm. Enough time to go to Dayah's wedding at Mantin but unfortunately the plan FAILED!*arghhhh*

My officemate called to give me a wake up call but it had been ignored as during sleeping time I DO have the tendency of ignoring phone calls or IF I do pick up the call, you will hear me talking ALIEN LANGUAGE!Quite number of people kena dah!

I still have tomorrow and the day after tomorrow to try it!Come on Audrey,you can do it!

*crossing fingers*

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*This has nothing to do with the earlier post*

It is gloomy out there as same as what I am feeling right now inside of me. I am just tired of being ME. Can I be someone else just for one day?can I?

I hate my job.
I hate my surrounding.
I hate to get to know new people.
I hate touchy and clingy people. No matter what was their reason for acting such way.
I hate to be nice to people.
I hate to not express my true self by not telling them that I hate it when they do that to me.
I hate to be judged by other people. You do not know me that well man!
I hate people keep on telling me that what I did and what path I chose were wrong. For god sake, I am not GOD or SAINT. I am just a normal human being that made mistakes and try to learn from it!
I hate being apart from my best friends.
I hate when other people try to control my life and pretending that they know me!Again, you do not know me that well la!
Conclusion-
I
HATE
BEING
ME

*sorry for the emo post*

Hen Nite~

The Ladies

Last Friday we celebrated one of our close friend's Hen Night. Our close friend is getting married this coming Friday. Happy for her. The organiser *her housemate* asked each of the guest to bring pot lug. At first I was thinking of bringing desserts *cupcakes la,what else...*but as my previous post, I had a very bad day on Friday so I told my mom that I am planning to just go buy something from the shop, she said no need and she offered to cook butter prawn *drooling* for us.

On the way, Agnes called. Asked me to pick her up at Changkat Bukit Bintang so went there to pick her up. Reached at Mira's*organiser* place around 10 something at night and we noticed that the lap dance instructor was there already but luckily the "heroin" yet to arrive to the location. Waited and waited for around 20 minutes, the heroin came! She was so shocked to see us there cos before this all of us already decided not to do any hen night for her due to lack of time but kudos to Mira, she managed to pull this event out.*clap!clap!clap!*

The lap dance instructor taught us some lap dance moves and we were all having fun! I sat near to Dd and Agnes. They were hilarious man!!!I was laughing and laughing until my face ache!! One of the funny moment was when the instructor was trying to teach us to flaunt our moves but she fell down and kena the speaker! Me, Dd and Agnes were laughing like hell cos when she was trying to put back the speaker while controling her shame.*ahahahahaha*Dd even said-"Ha nak merempit lagi,kan dah jatuh!"translation"ha, wanna race somemore,see fall down already!"

After that lesson, we ate and tell grandma stories. We even watched porn with the bride-to-be*but very short time la cos all of us cannot take it anymore.it's too weird!* then Shara came out with an idea,"let us play Scrabble" We tried our best to come out with some funny and kinky words but cannot la due to limited letters! Dd and her partner won.hmphf!!*until now they brag about the winning,sigh!*

Here are some of the words from scrabble board:

Me and Agnes put the word ROTI and PEHA!ahahaha!!

Fucking Hell!!!

My morning starts with a very "happy" incident!! I could not fucking turn on the ignition of my car!!! Early in the morning, it was quite hard to turn my key but I managed to turn it and as usual I went to market to buy breakfast. After done buying breakfast, I tried to start my car and then I found out that I could not turn the key at all!*this time my anger and stress level was already at my chest*I went to see my mom and tell her about that, she asked me to go to this one uncle saying that he can help. I went there telling the whole story and you know what he replied "u must turn the key patiently"jn@##!!!I was so fucking pissed and almost scream in front of his face! I said thanks to him and straight went to my mom. Told mom what he said and went to the car again and give it a shot again*this time the anger and stress level already at the tip of my short hair!*

The "patience" uncle came to the car asked me whether I can start the car already or not, Hello uncle, can you hear my engine making noise????!!I replied in high tone voice saying that I still can't turn my key and asked him to give it a shot.*tengok la aku cakap betul ker tak*He cannot turn the key as well and luckily one of my mom neighbour came and help.*guardian angel,weeeeeeeeee*
"Patience uncle said that the possibility my key cannot be turn because it is duplicate one, so has to go back home and take the original one. Somemore grumble said that the locksmith I went to not good la bla bla bla*hello uncle,I've been using this duplicate key for fucking 2 years ok??"* He even got the balls to ask me to follow my mom's market stall neighbour to fetch me home and take the original key.wth?!!I do not wanna deal with this uncle anymore!*God,please fulfill my wish.I promise I'll be good for the whole year,sigh*

Dropped by home to take the original key*screaming for my little brother's name from downstairs as the engine was still running*Turned off the engine and wanna try the "patience" uncle's theory and guess what,the same thing happened!!!I can't turned my car key!!!!*both also cannot turn now!greattttttttttt*Called office to inform that I am gonna be late or I do not come in at all.*I choose to take EL*I called my officemate and he laughed at me and gave me few options on how to turn the car key. Tried all the options,still cannot and now I am stranded at home in front of the pc waiting for the mechanic to come and have a look at my car.

Dear WKN,
what's
next?

company trip

Hi Boss,

Can we have a company trip this year?

I strongly believe that a company trip with rejuvenate everyones energy and creative spark to strive and improve individual performance for ****.




Audrey






This was the email that I sent out to my boss on behalf of others yesterday.*blushing*We so wanna go to company trip but do not know where and no one's dare to send him the email. I had attached along the *gloomy eyes by puss in the boots* picture and the video clip edited by my workmate to my boss.*ahahahahaha* While all of this process of sending the mail, I was laughing nervously thinking what his reply gonna be like. Almost EVERYONE in the office involved in this email and I am not the only culprit who involved in this plan.*grin*

This morning when I checked my office mail, I found his reply. As expected his reply gonna be like this*haish*

Boss reply:-
where do you guys want to go? melaka? haha

My boss is a very funny guy!!Out of all places, MELAKA?!haish!I can go there without having a plan to go there and it can be a day-trip man!i replied his email with this

My reply-
Melaka?*jeng,jeng,jeennnngggggg*

Erk,but...but...but....we will go melaka during your wedding reception....can we go Pulau (island) or KK maybe?
*attached is the dramatic music that currently became the obsession in the office*

Audrey

UWAAAAAAAAA!!!*weeping* I don't wanna go to Melaka!!!!!!

god
please
save
me
*crossing fingers so that we don't have to go to melaka for our company trip*


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Boss suggested Penang but that place so boring. All you can do there is EAT!OMG!! I don't wanna get more fat!

I had asked one of my workmate to suggest to him go to Kota Kinabalu!*weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*ahahaha!Before I leave the office I had made some research regarding Kota Kinabalu. That place is so breathtaking and it's so far much more nicer than PENANG! haish! how la wey????!!!

just let him go~

Grey's Anatomy, is my current favourite show. I like it because it got a lot of meaningful phrase and I just love it. The latest one season 5 episode 24+25 were super sad!!I cried few times and for your information, I seldom cry when I watch movies or drama series but I will absolutely cry when it comes to movie or drama series that involved mothers and cancer patient. I don't know why..*sigh*

These episodes were so touching and it reminded me of my own journey of life. In order for me to move on, I have to just let him go. Stop holding back, just go on with life. Can I do it? I do not know. I tried before and the result was- I was devastated! Haih~

Talking another devastating story- WKN's air cond fan was damaged. Went to send WKN to uncle Ah Dee and ask him to change it. After changed it, I went to wash WKN and realise I forgot to pay him so I went there again. After paying him, I was on my way home then only I realised my window at the passanger side was damaged too!!!Had to go to uncle Ah Dee's place again and repair it. Got home around 4 something in the evening.

While watching Gossip Girl on my pc, Lina called. She was at Restoran Haslam having lunch with her workmates before she went back Kuantan. Met up with her and her workmates. OMG!! One of her workmate made such a sulky face!! Dah la its my first time met her, at least show some good gesture la kan, ni tak! She showed sulky face all the time when I was there. Damn! This girl got some bad attitude man!! Lina went back to Kuantan and I gave her some cupcakes that I baked last Sunday. (1 chocolate, 3 Vanilla Choc chips and 2 banana Choc) Only 1 Chocolate cos according to her, her family don't eat chocolate. When she reached Kuantan, her mom ate the chocolate.ahahahahah!!pity her..Nevermind babe, next time I'll do more for you aight?

Thats all for now..
p/s:I'm in the office during lunch hour. Do not feel like going out cos the weather is soooooooo HOT!!

Happy Teachers' Day

Teachers had been in my life like forever. I do not have much memories during primary school days as during that time I think I was still young to know the meaning of sacrifices. *it's not like I don't appreciate my teachers during my primary school* All of you are appreciated*

I still remember the first time I step into my former secondary school *Kuala Selangor Science Secondary School/KUSESS*It was 8 September 1996 and the weather was so hot. A lot of unfamiliar face were there and among them are teachers. During secondary school, I was in that boarding school, feelling homesick,miss my mom so much but the teachers were being very helpful since some of them had experience it before. We were pampered *as we were the FIRST batch*:p and they treated us like their own children. I still remember the VERY first assembly when Tn. Hj. Khamis said something in his speech that had made a lot of us into tears, he said "We know that all of you are being apart from your home and parents but don't worry we as teachers will try to be there just like your parents. Starting from now on, please call me Ayahanda and not pengetua ok? All of you are my children"sob sob sob

The teachers during my batch were very strong hearted as the school was not fully equipped with all the facilities but they were willing to stay with us although they did have option to not stay with us in that crappy place *seriously it was sucks staying in KUSESS during that time.trust me you do not want to experience that*

There were a lot of memories when I was there. 5 years of memories! If i put all of it here, its gonna be a very LONG post!! I am glad that I studied and being taught by these teachers. I do not know how to repay your sacrifices so I think I just wanna wish you all a very Happy Teachers' Day *I will think about something to do with the teachers ok?hehe*

Erk

I had been having some problem with my memory. I tend to forget about things that are not important to me cos sometimes when i wanna tell my family and friends about something, i will ask them,"have i tell you this story?" and they were like "omg!!your sickness come already!!".They called it short term memory lost.

Today it got more serious. I was standing in front of my office and all of a sudden, I forgot the passcode at the door!! I had to press the door bell to ask my workmate to open the door for me. It is so embarrassing!!haish! *embarrassed!*

in the office

Currently I'm in the office. Feels like god given me 48 hours cos I have nothing to do except sitting around while some of office mates were busy doing their tasks. Luckily I can do something which is blogging.=)

Basically all job that I'm doing right now is copy writing. From an English to Bahasa Malaysia and according to them a BM copywriter is hard to find nowadays and their fee is high so I am doing "charity" work for them. Haish, can't imagine whether is there any accounts exec doing such a *rojak* job like me?Is there any people out there doing the same thing as me but their main jobscope is doing Accounts?

a very first blog

It strikes my mind whether can I maintain a blog like my best friend? I mean personal blog cos currently I'm maintaining my online business blog site *itsy-bitsybites* while waiting for my sister to settle down from her chaotic life.

Why suddenly I blog? First, because I got nothing to do in the office *i'm in office when i'm composing this entry*. Second is, I read this one blog and this writer had inspired me to blog. It was so fun reading her blog. Its like I can't stop reading her blog.

What to do when you have no task in the office and your office is super quite? Feeling sleepy right? I've been yawning and yawning since after lunch just now.